Fat is like HIV/AIDS

Yesterday was World AIDS Day, and I didn't actually know until after I posted for the day. So, this post is in memory of those we lost to the disease as well as those who are living with it step-by-step and day-by-day. Much love to you all!~

Now, on to regularly scheduled programming...

Fat waits for no one. No one has to give it permission. No one has to invite it over. No one has to even talk to it! Fat is the red-headed stepchild that no one wants to be seen with in public.

Why does Fat sneak up on us? There are a couple of reasons -- 1) it catches you with your pants down (you didn't even see it coming) or 2) you weren't being conscientious about your eating habits even though you knew a visit from Fat was right around the corner. Either way, you've got to clean up your life.

If you are so busy with other things that you can't take the time for yourself to see that you are actually unhealthy, that you aren't taking in the best foods, etc. you need to take a step back and take some time for you.

If you just didn't care either way about your weight, have I got a newsflash for you? It's becoming more difficult as days pass by to "justify" being Fat. Not only is Fat uncomfortable, but it's also disgusting, awkward, and just all around unnecessary. The only reason you should EVER be Fat is if you have a tapeworm or some other disorder that otherwise prevents you from being healthy.

Another thing is, Fat is a DISEASE. It's actually very similar to HIV/AIDS. No one dies of HIV/AIDS, they die of complications stemming from the disease. No one dies of being Fat - they die of complications from it - like heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, sleep apnea, etc.

There are only three differences between HIV/AIDS and Fat -- 1) people with HIV/AIDS have access to treatments but no cures, there is nothing they can do to get RID of this disease. Fat is completely avoidable. 2) Everyday people with HIV/AIDS have to live with (or die because of) one bad choice they or someone else made. Everyday Fat people have the choice of making good decisions for their health - it was not ONE mistake that got you where you are, there were MANY. 3) HIV/AIDS is a contagious disease and can be passed to another human by way of certain body fluids. Fat is not contagious. No one put you where you are but you and you alone.

So, on World AIDS Day, think about the fact that you are blessed to not face the illness and all we (myself included) have to deal with is Fat. Pray for the people who have to live with the conditions of this disease. Also, keep up hope for a cure.

Now, what reason is it that you can't put down the food and commit yourself to doing what NEEDS to be done? Do you want to live or die? Each day you get the make the choice while others aren't so lucky.

Hi, I'm FAT - How Are You?

So I haven't blogged in a while. I apologize to anyone who may count on inspiration, laughs, tears, etc. from this blog. I haven't been consistent, and most of all I haven't been losing any weight. It was never my intention to deprive you of what you seek in this blog, so I plan to now get back on track (yeah right, she said that before).

The Thanksgiving holiday has passed, and now it's time to re-evaluate. As always, since the last time I posted, I have undergone quite a few changes in life - we moved to another state, I've completely dedicated myself to working from home, and the hub got a promotion at work. On a more fun level, we also purchased the new XBox 360 w/ Kinect and the game Dance Central. I have been doing a lot with that here lately. I don't think it's anything considerable as far as losing weight, but it is a great way to get moving.

During this time, I also have been real with myself. I don't know if you remember the post about my traumatic experience at Six Flags, but I recently had another personal breakdown - this type about clothes. It used to not be so difficult to find clothes to fit me. I would just go into the store, find the plus sized section, pick out something appropriate, and move on. Well, now this involves going to multiple stores, not find anything, and ultimately settling for the first thing you find just because you're just happy you FINALLY found something that fits. Shopping for clothes is NOT FUN when you're FAT! It's a horrible experience that leaves you feeling depressed, unworthy, and just plain bad.

Have any of you experienced this? Do you know what it's like to want SO BADLY to just find a cute outfit -- without spending an arm and a leg? I wear a size 20. I wear either a 2XL or 3XL in shirts depending on the cut  -- this is mainly due to have HUGE boobs and no other real choices in the matter. For me to be such a person who loves to take the cheapest route possible, I'm not paying attention to all of the money that being FAT has cost me? I'm not deep into buying name brand clothes, but an outfit can easily cost me $40+. I don't buy bras from Victoria's Secret, yet my bras cost me $35+ -- and what's worse is that's for a granny bra - not a cute bra.

I feel isolated as a big woman in America. As my husband says, "when you're big, you have to be in a box". I used to think that was fine and that I could simply build my own little world inside my box. I could start a clothing store selling fabulous plus sized women's clothes for less. But then it dawned on me - that would be me going out of my way to STAY FAT! Who does that? It's like choosing to keep a life-threatening illness. Then, if I did something like that - I would be nothing more than an enabler. I would make women feel better about being FAT, but they shouldn't feel better. They should feel very uncomfortable because uncomfortable inspires change.

It took me 24 years to learn that...

Six Tons @ Six Flags

The title above was just for fun - FYI :-)

I went to Six Flags today. I haven't been in a while, and boy have things changed. And no, I'm not talking about the rides in the park. The thing (person) that has changed is me. I'm probably about 40 pounds heavier than I was the last time I went.

I have never really felt ostracized because of my weight. I was never ridiculed (at least not in front of my face) about it. As I told the hubby earlier, I was already ready to make a "cheap shot" at myself before someone else did. I would call myself fat or talk about how big I was so that I didn't hear it from anyone else. That way, I was laughing with them about my weight as opposed to be laughed at.

Well, long story short, today while riding some of the rides, it was clear that I was really too fat to be on the rides. I won't name specifics (not now at least), but there were a few where I was not only uncomfortably snug but also barely able to get buckled in. I know a big contributor to that was the size of my boobs (that's a whole 'nother topic of its own), but I've always been top heavy. I haven't always been 240+ pounds. That put a huge damper on my day - all I could focus on was how big I was and how I had no business being there and thinking I could get on any rides. It was incredibly painful, embarrassing, and most importantly - it was a reality check.

I may feel all warm and cozy in my abilities and may even live in denial about what I can and cannot do from time to time. However, the rides don't lie. If you can't fit them, there's no getting around it. You will either still try to get on and risk embarrassment or stand on the outside watching everyone else ride the rides. Either way, you're singled out as the "fat kid".

I've been learning so much about my struggle with weight over the past week or so, it's amazing. I've found that I was living in denial, playing the victim, and not seeing myself at the size I really am. Today, I got a reality check. I'm a big girl and it's a small world. I have to figure out a way to fit in somehow...